I would give anything to feel right now. 

 There’s these moments where you kind of just sit in your existence. The colors aren’t nearly as magnificent and your chest does nothing but keeps you breathing. The feeling of the world rushing through your veins, whipping around your bones, down your legs, attaching roots to the earth and letting your soul touch the ground just, doesn’t happen. & you wish so desperately it would come back. You wish it would engulf you. But this is the balance of the universe - to appreciate the weight of living, one must go through times where they feel nothing at all. 

Nonetheless… I miss the colors. I miss the feeling that you know this moment will be nostalgia you will feed off of a year from now. I miss the moment of looking at a person, and know that you are sharing a sacred realm that is not of Earth, and you will get high from it, and remember that moment forever - like pouring rain and music - like passionate innocent kisses - like a brief moment of eye contact that will be etched in your memory for as long as you live. It’s a drive on your way to the desert and your hand out the window and knowing that this is what infinite feels like. 

These are the moments you will love, and you will cherish and these are the moments that will keep your heart beating even when you feel nothing at all. 

I don’t want to feel safe. I want to feel inspired. I want to experience the world in which we live, and the things like love, and pain, and human nature that nobody can really understand or explain. I want to dive to the depths of all you cannot see and I want to sit with whatever it is I will feel. & I want to sit in this space with the people I love - to learn together. I want to be presented with uncomfortable situations, because from here I will learn the fastest about who I am - and who we are as people. I want to understand. I want to learn from other’s stories. I want to reflect and do it all over again. I want to stand in the middle of a west coast forest, or Montana space and I want to feel at home there, whenever the world of Humans gets too heavy. I want to constantly be transforming what I believe in, but in order to do so, one must really FEEL the IV’s of life being plugged into our very cores, and our minds, and our hearts and we must feel it pulsate - rhythm after rhythm - and touch with all of the senses we were given. Break me apart. Build me up. Tear me down. Reconstruct me. Make me brilliant. Make me empathetic. Make me direct. Make me unapologetic. Make me so full.

“The music is mesmerizing. 

It’s not sad, but it makes you yearn for those afternoons, or mornings, or nights when you felt so damn alive and attached to the moment. Those times when you were really experiencing life instead of thinking about how you wished you were experiencing it. 

The feeling is gorgeous.”

Excerpt from Blazed by Jason Myers

Shedding the August Skin into September’s

           It’s about that time when things get weird. A few eclipses will occur and Mercury will take another turn in retrograde, which means that there’s a lot to learn, and a lot to uncover. From a reflection point however of August - extremely fast paced and full of lessons. I went to Bali, Indonesia and spent my first trip out of the United States in a place and with people that’s going to be a tough one to beat. I learned that people aren’t very different and sometimes I think people tend to forget that. I was reminded of the values and beliefs I used to teach myself - that life and death both come from the same hands and that they are equally as important, and in a way, beautiful, even if one feels more-so than the other. I also learned that you don’t need much, but money is still helpful - a balance I’m striving to reach between an emotional spirituality and a acceptance of worldly treasures. Bali held up so many of my fears and dangled them in front of my face, and then continued to push me into them. It was, to say the least, changing. There are still things though that not even Bali touched and I’m excited for this month to come, even with all of it’s powerful and difficult planet alignments. There’s a lot of light to be shed and a lot of lights to put out. So, for everyone this month, take some time to reflect and ask yourself what it is you really want, and if you’re headed in that direction. Ask yourself if you’re doing what you want. Take some down time kids. Feels so good to get lost in yourself so eventually, you can share what you’ve learned with the world around you. xx 

This past month has been busy with visiting different places around the United States - from New York, to the Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree to LA. It’s been a learning experience - to say the least. The idea behind the trip was to connect with other creative people and as much as searching for inspiration sounds like the best idea - inspiration will find you. In the desert without neighbors. In the vastness of the Grand Canyon. In conversation exchanges with natives of Los Angeles. 

I started out on this trip with an idea - an image I wanted to portray and somewhere in there, the universe gave me a huge wake-up call. It’s not about the image. It’s not about the way you want to paint it. I went in with an idea and came out with something completely different. This trip started out for all of the wrong reasons ; and somewhere in LA, the universe handed me a handful of moments that basically unapologetically pointed that out to me. 

When it comes to art, you have to feel it. & if you can’t feel it, then what in the hell are you doing? … What was I doing? Creating something to sell it? Selling myself? We’re surrounded by a society that tells you the only thing in the world that matters is having money or to have your name plastered around the world. The only thing that REALLY matters, is finding what it is, or who it is, that inspires you and let it pour from every part of your soul - that’s what matters. Being honest with your passion and inspiration - that’s what matters. So thank you, universe, for reminding me why I picked up a camera and a pen in the first place. 


Using Format